Help! I Need to Illustrate for the Illustrator!

            I know. I know. It’s still 2013 and my latest novel is set for release in November. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t started on the next one. I have. And this time, it comes with a publisher. Not to mention the illustrator that I’m working with on the project. I only hope that the poor guy doesn’t pull the hair out of his head when he sees what I’ve sent him.

The novel calls for a detailed map of a fictitious 13^th century Scottish monastery. And believe me, readers will need it when they find themselves going through passageways, cloisters, towers, garths and forges. (Are you getting interested yet?) 

But here’s the ruse: I need to “roughly” plot out the diagram so that the artist can draw it the way in which I’ve designed the buildings. Only trouble is – I can’t draw!  I’ve been trying for days. And it looks as if I may have to start all over again. The last attempt didn’t go over very well when I showed it to my husband.

            “Huh? I didn’t know you were writing a book about cheese. Is it for an article or something?”

            “Cheese? What are you talking about?”

            “Well, this drawing you gave me. It looks like Swiss cheese.”

            “It’s not. It’s the diagram of a monastery.”

            “Oh. So what are those little holes and dots supposed to be?”

            “The buildings. The tower. The church.”

            “It looks like Swiss cheese.”

            “That’s because you don’t understand it. The artist I’m working with graduated from the School of the Art Institute in Chicago. With top honors!”

            “Did he take a course in cryptography? Because he’s going to need it when he sees what you’ve sent him.”

            “That’s not funny. Maybe you’re holding the paper wrong.”

            “It looks the same no matter how I hold it. But OK. If these are supposed to be buildings, you’ve got them on top of each other. Looks like those monks are going to Eat, Pray, Love in one giant cluster.”

            I grabbed the diagram and took another look. Clearly, what I saw in my mind was not coming across with pen and ink. And then I realized something. My map was like Picasso’s Guernica when I was aiming for the Dutch Masters. It was hopeless.

            Then I had an idea.

            “Maybe I could have someone illustrate something for the illustrator.” 

            “WHAT? That doesn’t even make sense.”

            “It does if you would do it. I’ll just tell you what I want, where I want it, and then you could put it on the paper for me.”

            I’ve seen the look of terror before, but that was nothing compared to the expression on my husband’s face.

            “Actually, if that guy did graduate in the top of his class from that art institute, he’s probably used to seeing things like this. Just mail it to him.”

            “Really?”

            “Oh yeah. In fact, I’ll go get the stamps now!”