Going Left Handed Till My Brain Adapts

            I don’t know how I managed to torture my right thumb to the point of excruciating pain and an inability to lift the lightest of objects without breaking out into a sweat. Yet, somehow, I did. Add a bit of carpal tunnel to the mixture and I’m about to go under the knife this week for what is known as “carpometacarpal surgery.” 

            It’s more gruesome than regular carpal tunnel surgery. In fact, it looks downright medieval. I know. I started to watch the UTube video before feeling faint. That surprised me, since I sat through the entire UTube video of a shoulder replacement when my husband had that surgery two years ago. But this was different. This is my thumb and the blood would be mine, not his. 

            To prepare for weeks in a splint/cast and physical therapy for the hand, I needed to whip my left hand in shape. After all, I spend hours writing, not to mention every other activity that I take for granted. I can honestly say that I have the utmost respect and admiration for those people who work under handicapping conditions on a daily basis. It’s beyond challenging. So far, this is what I can do:

·         Drive left handed except for starting the car. Why Oh Why didn’t I buy one of those cars with automatic starters that do not require keys?  Oh yeah, the price tag.

·         Empty the dishwasher.  I don’t expect to be using it though, since I have no intention of cooking and neither does my husband. The local restaurants will be thrilled. 

·         Dust and vacuum. With all the cats and the dog, I would have gone broke hiring a cleaning person. 

·         Brush my teeth with the electric toothbrush. Unfortunately, they do not make an electric flosser so my dentist will probably enjoy another cruise to the Caribbean on my tab.

·         Type with my left hand. The only problem is that the letters have worn off of my keyboard and my brain types automatically. Now, I have to look and guess. So, please don’t expect many blogs for a while. 

·         Use my mobile devices. This just requires talking and a bit of tapping. I gave up on text messages a long time ago. Oh, I can still work the TV remote like no one’s business so my husband will still have to fight for it!

·         Get Dressed. Here in Arizona, that means tossing on shorts and a top. If I were still back in upstate New York, I’d be hours putting on those layers of clothing. Good thing it will be in the nineties and low hundreds for the next month.

I’m not thinking about what I can’t do, because that will only drive me crazy. One thing is certain – I’ll have lots of time to plot my next novel for Time Travel Mysteries! You didn’t think I was going to give my publisher a rest, did you? 

Now I just hope I don’t destroy my left hand!

Warning: Writing Novels Can Be Hazardous To Your Driving

      

             Granted, it’s not as overt as texting or putting on make-up when driving, but thinking about your next plot move or the development of your characters can be just as distracting, if not worse. At least with make-up, you still realize you’re behind the wheel of a car, even if one hand is applying the mascara. 

            Last week I drove to the dog park nine times. Seven of them were with the dog in the car. The other two just happened. I started out knowing that I had a different destination but a mile past my house, my mind began to wander. Actually, serpentine would be a better word.

 As the first draft of my latest novel moves closer and closer to the climax, I find myself re-charting the moves that my protagonists are making. Too bad I couldn’t do that and drive at the same time. Believe me, it’s more than embarrassing when you arrive someplace and have no idea how you got there.

The good news was that I had the best spot in the parking lot. That, in and of itself, should have been my first clue. The second came when I turned to grab the dog’s leash and realized that I was holding the straps to my handbag. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. 

And then, there’s that unsettling feeling that I missed something. 

“My God! I could have driven over a cow and I wouldn’t know it!”

It’s one of the hazards that writers face. Ideas pop in and out of our heads like kernels of popcorn hitting the side of a microwave bag. And why is it that my greatest epiphanies come when I’m nowhere near a pen or pencil, let alone a computer. 

After weeks of struggling, I once figured out how to resolve a complex plot twist. Unfortunately, I had turned onto the I-17 heading to Flagstaff when Tucson was my destination. I try to stick closer to home now, especially when I begin a new novel. Later on, during the editing and revision phase, I’m a much safer driver and can be trusted to leave the neighborhood. 

Like it or not, I’ve come to accept the fact that the creative part of my mind works best when I’m doing menial things. SHH! Whatever you do, do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT tell this to my husband or he will find all sorts of menial things for me to do including vacuuming, dishes, dusting, and changing the litter box.

And while driving isn’t exactly menial, it does cause the mind to wander. And in my case that means a nice meandering path through every conceivable obstacle my characters can face.

            So in the meantime, I’ll just take my chances behind the wheel and up my insurance. I’ll also warn readers when I’m starting a new novel so you can keep a good distance away from any cars in the Greater Phoenix area.

The Five Stages of Query Rejection (Thank you Elisabeth Kubler-Ross)

            In 1969, Swiss American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a book that defined five stages of death – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. I’m sure she thought that her carefully researched text, On Death and Dying, was meant for just that – Death and Dying. Ha! Little did she know that she was really writing about the five stages of query rejection. 

            Ask any author who ever received the following emails and they will tell you that I am right.

            “Your manuscript does not meet our needs at this time.”

            “I’ll pass on this one.”

            “This is not for me.”

            “We just signed another author with something similar so we’ll pass on yours.”

            “I must decline participation in this project.”

            “It doesn’t fit my list.”

            They will also tell you that Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was right, too!  See for yourself how authors react when given the thumbs down:

DENIAL

“This cannot be meant for me!”

“They must have mixed up my manuscript with someone else’s.”

“This can’t be – I bet they never ever read my query!”

“Someone just sent me a form reply without bothering to read my submission.”

ANGER

“What is the matter with those morons? Don’t they know I’m the next Tom Clancy!”

“I’m sick of playing their stupid games. What do these agents want anyhow?”

“My manuscript is a million times better than the stuff they publish. What’s wrong with those people?”

“I hate the whole publishing industry!!!”

BARGAINING

“I’ll give all my profits to charity if they would just publish my book.”

“I’ll volunteer to read to juvenile delinquents in lock-up if they would just publish my book.”

“I’ll dust the shelves in their bookstore if they would just publish my book.”

“I’ll tell the world how wonderful they are if they would just publish my book.”

DEPRESSION

“I give up. I don’t know why I ever bothered.”

“I’m just going to sit and eat another gallon of Rocky Road ice cream.”

“I don’t care if my book ever gets published. I don’t care if aliens invade the earth. Nothing matters anymore.”

“In a million years none of this will matter so what the heck?”

ACCEPTANCE

“Hey, there are more agents. I’ll try one of them.”

“So they didn’t like my first book, I’ll write another one.”

“Time to sign up for a writer’s conference at a fabulous destination.”

“I’ll get an independent critique and go from there. Nothing is going to stop me!”

            I’d be surprised if authors didn’t go through these stages or even add a few of their own like “Switching Gears.” It would go something like this – “OK fine. I’m now going to paint watercolors. No more writing. Just watercolors.” Or perhaps “Getting Away From it All” which means finding a vacation on the cheap since you spent most of your money on your computer and service provider. (Those email queries don’t come free). 

            Whatever the case may me, remember you are not alone. Yeah, yeah, everyone tells you that J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter on a napkin in some pub and had a hard time finding a publisher. All of us love those “rags to riches” stories. The trick is to get over those five stages of query rejection and move on. It would make Elisabeth Kubler-Ross proud.

Using Facebook Ads - It's All Russian to Me!

            A few years back when we living in New York and I was working for a winery on the weekends, I decided to practice what little Russian I knew with one of our visitors who had arrived from Moscow. Unfortunately, I wound up accepting a marriage proposal. (Seriously!) When I got home and told my husband that the guy might be showing up (because I had actually managed to provide a decent description of where we lived), my husband was incredulous.

            “What am I going to do?” I yelled as he continued to weed the rock garden on all fours. 

            “Beats me, but I’m going into the house. You got yourself into it; you’ll have to get yourself out.”

            Believe it or no, I did, but the man was persistent, sending me chocolates and cards. 

            Now, years later, I think I’m in a similar position because I thought I could figure out the way in which to manage my Facebook ads, but everything is going wrong. What little knowledge I have isn’t paying off and no one is going to be sending me chocolates any time soon.  

            It used to be so easy to set up an ad that would appear on the side of the newsfeed. Now, it becomes part of the feed itself. That means I get all sorts of nasty comments from people who didn’t want to see it in the first place! Hey – it’s not my fault, just keep scrolling. Apparently that’s what everyone else does.

            Then, there’s “Boost Your Ad.”  It took me three days and numerous phone calls to understand how the “maximum budget” works. Was it maximum for one day (in which case I’d be broke by the end of the campaign) or was it maximum as in the honest-to-goodness total? No clear cut language there, folks. I figured I’d set a short campaign and a short maximum just in case it really was for each day. Then I held my breath and hoped that my bank account wouldn’t be wiped out.

            Just when I thought things were getting better, I got an email from Facebook about something called a “threshold.” Mine was for an amount I didn’t establish so I really got worried. I’m still seeking answers and eyeballing my checking account like a vulture. 

            Fellow author, website designer, and avid FB user, Beth Cornell, had this to say when I whined about the entire process.

            “There are three or four ways to actually boost a post. They don’t always offer the same ways either, adding to the mystery and challenging the mastery of this skill.”

            Terrific. As if I didn’t have enough challenges with the marketing process. Next week I plan to market my book the old fashioned way – hand out business cards to anyone I come in contact with and refrain from practicing my Russian!

Author Blog Hop

BLOG HOP – Ann I. Goldfarb

www.timetravelmysteries.blogspot.com

http://www.timetravelmysteries.com/The-Time-Borrower.html

Hi! I was invited to this author "Blog Hop" by Poisoned Pen mystery writer, Donis Casey. ( The Alafair Tucker Mysteries). Essentially, a number of authors share their insights with readers by answering four questions and tagging other authors. I've tagged Gale Leach and M.J. Evans. Here goes:

What am I working on now?

            The Time Borrower has just been released in bookstores, online and Kindle. It’s the fourth novel in my YA “Light Riders” time travel mystery/adventure series. The best part for me is that it has been endorsed by two incredible award winning and best-selling authors – Donis Casey and Jenn McKinlay. It takes place in 13^th century Scotland as its protagonist, college student Linna Sullivan, goes back in time to try to prevent the murder of a young monk. Watch out for sinister plots and unexpected twists and turns.

            I just completed the first draft of the fifth novel in that same series. The Time Stealer will take readers back to the year 1750 B.C.

            College senior Aeden thinks she’s got it made when all she has to do is direct a Children’s Theater play for her final project before graduating from Emerson in Boston. Unfortunately, her department head has something else in mind – adding his fourteen-year-old miscreant nephew, Wendell, to the cast.

            It doesn’t take Wendell long to hack into Aeden’s iPad and uncover the secret formulas for time travel that she and her brother found years ago while cleaning out their great, great  aunt’s house. Wasting no time, Wendell decides to put the formulas to use in order to find the lost city of Atlantis.

            When Aeden discovers that Wendell is missing, she realizes that he has gone back to the ancient Minoan civilization on the island of Thera in the Aegean Sea. A civilization known for its brutal Ceremony of the Bulls and penchant for human sacrifice. Will she be able to return him to the 21^st century or watch as he becomes the next “burnt offering” for the gods?

            Crafting the first draft is a delight for my imagination, but like all first drafts, the novel will undergo revisions, edits, and proof readings. That’s the tedious, strenuous part of the process. Whenever I get an email from one of my editors I know I’m in for some serious work time.

How does my book differ from other books in its genre?

            Like The Time Borrower, The Time Stealer is a genre blend of science fiction and historical fiction. When I wrote the first novel in the series, Light Riders and the Morenci Mine Murder, KIRKUS REVIEWS called it “an effective multi-genre approach of murder mystery, horror, sci-fi and Western.” That same style holds true for this work. I use the element of time travel to hook the readers as I take them through historical events and places in the past. In order to do so, I virtually immerse myself into every aspect of life in that particular era, and that means a tremendous amount of research.

            Although the plot and characters are fabricated, I am compelled as an author to provide readers with historical accuracy. This novel was particularly challenging in that regard. Little is known about the Minoan civilization, including its language. The only references were found on two tablets – Linear A and Linear B, which are similar to ancient Greek. Fortunately, the incredible Minoan frescos and ceramics found on the islands of Crete and Santorini were preserved well enough to give historians and writers like me, some understanding of the culture.

            The point of view shifts in this novel from twenty-something Aeden to fifteen-year-old wise guy, Wendell. It allows the reader to identify not only with both characters but with the perception that the characters have of each other. It’s like listening in to a private conversation without the guilt.

Why do I write what I do?

            I grew up with Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. Along came Rod Serling’s “Twilight Zone” and I was hooked on mystery, suspense, adventure, and science fiction. Add thirty plus years of teaching middle and high school, culminating with over a decade as a middle school principal, and the “fodder” for my novels was firmly in place. I think back to those awkward and funny situations and somehow they find a way into my books.            

            Simply put, I love writing middle grade and YA novels that adults secretly read when no one is looking. It’s a target audience that I am familiar with and a genre that I thoroughly enjoy. That’s not to say that I don’t push myself out of the comfort zone once in a while.

            Readers may be surprised to find grisly, high octane thrillers in the future.

How does my writing process work?

            It begins with an idea that “marinates” in my brain for days or weeks at a time. Eventually, I piece together the characters and play around with their dialogue and personalities before I work out the actual plot. I need to get a sense of who I am working with before I can send them off to solve murders or mysteries in time.

            My first novel, The Face Out of Time, was very linear, adhering to my specific notes and outlines. It drove me crazy! Then, I had the opportunity to hear J.A. Jance speak at a conference. She said, “The only person who ever required a formal outline was my high school English teacher.” In a split second, I was free! 

            I guess I’ve developed an eclectic approach to writing. Sometimes I plod. Sometimes I work by the seat of my pants, and sometimes I use post-its and snippets of paper strewn all over my desk to get me started on my journey.

            Each book is different. I painstakingly worked out the puzzle details for The Last Tag, my story about a fifteen-year-old graffiti tagger in Phoenix who stumbles upon the remnants of an old murder, as if I was developing a secret code for Los Alamos. Not the case for Light Riders and the Fleur-de-lis Murder. I gleefully skipped through that book relishing every obstacle that the French Revolution could provide.

            The Time Stealer was reminiscent of my exhilarating experience writing Fleur. Not so much with my other novels. They were demanding, annoying at times, and downright frustrating. If I could compare it to anything, it would be like my students – each one a different challenge and a different reward.

            Readers sometimes ask me if I set aside a particular time of day to write and the answer is no. I grab whatever time I have. Some days the best I can do is forty minutes. Other days it’s six hours straight. I juggle my writing with my other activities, like teaching adult education in Sun City West and Surprise. Some seasons are better than others. In the hot Arizona heat, I find that I am very productive in the afternoons. Let’s face it, sitting in an air-conditioned room with a fan overhead is a whole lot better than traipsing around in 110 degrees!

  

Author Bio

New York native Ann I. Goldfarb spent most of her life in education, first as a classroom teacher and later as a middle school principal and professional staff developer. Writing has always been an integral part of her world. For the past decade, she has written non-fiction for Madavor Media/Jones Publishing, but her real passion is writing mystery-suspense-adventure for young adult audiences.  Time travel, the vehicle she embraces, is her hook into historical fiction and Two Cats Press is her publisher.

Ann resides with her family near the foothills of the White Tank Mountains in Arizona. She invites you to visit her website at www.timetravelmysteries.com and “LIKE” her Facebook Page – Time Travel Mysteries.  

Meet Author Gale Leach      www.galeleach.com

Gale Leach is the author of The Art of Pickleball, the bestselling book about the world's fastest growing sport, and four award-winning novels for children. She is currently working on a series of fantasy books for young adults. Gale lives in Arizona with her husband, two dogs, and three cats.

Meet Author Margi Evans!  www.behindthemidst.com

About M.J. Evans

M.J. Evans is passionate about horses, fantasy and writing. She is the author of both fiction and non-fiction titles about horses. Growing up in Lake Oswego, Oregon, she learned to ride, rain or shine. M.J. Evans is a graduate of Oregon State University and a lifelong equestrian. After graduating from Oregon State University, she took a twenty-five year hiatus from owning a horse while she and her husband raised five children. She is a former teacher at the secondary school level. A move to Colorado gave her the opportunity to return to her riding and she took the time to work on her writing as well. She and her husband are the parents of five children and live in Colorado with their three horses and a Standard Poodle.  She has completed all three books of the Mist Trilogy of which Mists of Darkness is the second. She spends many hours riding in the Rocky Mountains and planning her books in her head.