Why Can't I Pose With Anyone Famous?

 

As if the heat, humidity, dust storms and torrential downpours that we’ve had here in Arizona this past week weren’t enough to send me screaming down the street, I just had to see a photo of “Tin House” editor Meg Storey posing with Nathan Fillion. That’s right, the Nathan Fillion. She was holding a copy of her book and was absolutely beaming. Who wouldn’t be?  And then it occurred to me, I need to pose with someone famous, too. And maybe, just maybe, my books would soar to the top of every bestseller list this side of White Tank Mountains. 

But as most authors have learned, sitting around wishing for the impossible doesn’t work. Action does. So I started making phone calls to family members and friends. These are the responses I got:

“You can always pose with your cousin Stanley. He just made a presentation at a podiatrist conference last month in Florida. Do you want me to call Aunt Bernice and see if he’s available?”

“Oh dear. My friend Edith’s daughter once shared an elevator with Alan Alda but I don’t suppose that’s going to happen again.”

“Remember Cody, the kid from next door?  The one who kept kicking the recycling bins over on the street? Well, he’s playing with a grunge band in Seattle. Maybe when he comes back to visit he’ll pose with you.”

“Your great uncle wrote a math textbook.  I remember the family talking about it when they put it into the curriculum for Texas in 1964. If his nursing home wasn’t so far away, I would suggest that.”

Believe it or not, those were the best options. So…from now on, I fully intend to sit around and wish for the impossible. Either that or I’m going to see if Honey Boo Boo and her family are available…