Want To Take Credit Cards at Your Book Signings? They've Got the APP and a Class!

 

I usually like to see the inside of my eyelids at five in the morning, but in order to walk the dog, take a shower and get to my Verizon “Learn How to Use Your iPhone Class” by 7:00, sleep will have to wait until I’m actually seated in the class. And I really can’t afford to sleep. I need all the help I can get to use the darn thing. 

Why? Because people want to pay for books with credit cards; and in order to accommodate them and not lose a sale, I have had to upgrade my flip-top cell phone for an iPhone in order to get an APP and a little plastic square that takes all kinds of credit cards. Trouble is…I have no idea how to work the phone.

It took three hours and two Verizon employees to get me started last week. The first guy held on for a full hour and 43 minutes before giving up. His relief worker couldn’t last that long and finally recommended that I sign up for “The Class.” He was right. On the way home from the store, someone called me and I couldn’t figure out how to answer the stupid thing so I let it go to voice mail. I’ll figure that out soon. 

Anyway, I’m dreading the class. You see, I’m not one of these people who moves seamlessly into new technology. For heaven’s sakes, I was using rotary phones five years ago in New York! Yep, big colorful phones that hung on walls and took up all sorts of table space. If I wanted to move around while I talked, I simply bought longer cords! Now I’ve got a little device that requires a degree in “Phone Usage.”

But the good news is, I can take credit cards! So…give me a week or two and then show me your plastic! Mastercard…Discover…Visa…I’ll process them all. Just don’t expect it to go smoothly. They don’t make an APP for that.