Reaching the Pinnacle of Rejection

            It’s bad enough to get a rejection letter from an agent or publisher when you’ve sent a query. But when you get a rejection letter “out of the blue” from an agency where you’ve never queried, it can literally make your hair stand on end. 

            Imagine my shock when I opened my email to read a rejection letter that stated, “I’m going to pass on your project. It doesn’t look like something that would work for me. Of course this is one agent’s opinion. You may wish to query other agents.”

            What project? Who are you? What on earth are you talking about?

            Thankfully I have a great indie publisher who will be taking on the next novel in my “Light Rider” series. So why did I get this strange email?

            As the days went by, all I could do was perseverate over it. Meanwhile, my husband thought it was hysterical. 

            “You’ve probably queried so many agents in the past five years, that they’ve put you on some sort of DO NOT ACCEPT LIST. Kind of like the DO NOT CALL LISTS from telemarketers.”

            “That’s not funny!”

            “Sure it is. I’ll bet anything that your name is on a computer list for DON’T CALL US, WE’LL CALL YOU. Look at it this way, that email just saved you time. You can cross that agent off your list should you decide to send out queries.”

            “It’s very unnerving. I mean, not to know what they were talking about. Maybe I should send them an email explaining that I never sent them anything.”

            “Sure. Waste your time. They’ll probably email back telling you to stop pestering them.”

            “This is so unfair.”

            “OK. Here’s an idea – Send them a query. Attach their response and wish them a happy new year!”

            “It will be put in their spam file.”

            “Yeah, but at least you’ll have the last word.”

            “I’ve got a better idea. I’m just going to push the delete button.”

            “That’s what you should have done in the first place!”

            I went back to the computer and pulled up my email. My finger was poised over the delete button but I just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t closure enough. After staring at the keyboard, I did what I’ve been doing long before emails. I printed out the darn thing and tore it up in little pieces. 

            Agents hate unsolicited queries. Well, guess what? Authors really hate unsolicited rejections!