The Querulous World of Querying

 

            It used to be so simple -a formal letter requesting representation for publishing. Sure, it had to include a terrific pitch, a great synopsis and enough compelling information to make any publisher or agent interested in your manuscript. But that was before technology. Now, sending a query has become as difficult as a quest for knighthood. Here’s what I mean:

            All manuscripts must be submitted in rich text format and double spaced using Times New Roman.

            All manuscripts must be spaced at 1. 5 and submitted in WORD, but no attachments.

            Attachments only, please, in PDF format, double spaced with a Header and Page Numbers on the top.

            All manuscripts must be submitted in WORD (no version accepted prior to 2007), double spaced and 12 font only.

            All manuscripts must have page numbers centered on the bottom.

            All manuscripts must have page numbers centered on the top.

            And the demands go on and on…

            No wonder querying has become a process of its own, with a number of writers’ conferences offering complete workshops on this art.  And the worst part is, it’s not the query letter! It’s getting to the query letter. For whatever reason, each company or agent wants it his or her own way.

            Last weekend I decided to submit a query to a well-known agency seeking representation for an ebook version of one of my novels. It took me over four hours just to get the header and page number on the same line! Apparently Microsoft Office 2010 doesn’t like to do that!  Frankly, I don’t like to do that. It makes more sense to have the page numbers on the bottom, but who am I to question the preferences of a company that might just represent me?  

            Anyway, I wound up having to copy and paste the header (That’s right – copy and paste) on each page, and that was after calling two WORD experts for their help!

            “Why don’t you just put the stupid page numbers on the bottom?”

            “Because they will instantly reject my query! You don’t know these guys. They’re vicious!”

            That’s why I’m very selective about my querying. I’d rather be writing, editing and researching, not trying to figure out the nuances of word processing. But let’s face it, getting represented is akin to be knighted.  Even if it means clicking the Help tab on the tool bar and working feverishly to satisfy whatever demands and obstacles are hurled your way from the company/agent’s submission page.

            But I have a plan. I’m going to enroll in a course that teaches OFFICE 2010. Of course by that time, Microsoft will have a new improved version and I’ll need to purchase the new software. Then, I’ll find out that my computer is too antiquated for whatever new version they’ve got. That’s what happened to me the last time. And, I couldn’t install my old software into the new computer.

            “What do you mean I can’t continue to use WORD 97?  My first two novels were written on WORD 97!”

            “You can use it, but there will be glitches. You’ll love OFFICE 2010!”

            “Sure, unless of course you plan on querying. Then, all bets are off!”